Our last post on the Enneagram types and gifting made us think about putting up another post about the Enneagram. This one is focused on how different Enneagram types are in their romantic relationships.
Enneagram One: Reformer
Type 1’s are at their best when they are having fun and feeling relaxed. Plan a spur of the moment date so they can feel spontaneous and experience joy. This will also help to take the pressure off them. Taking charge will allow them to release control of outcomes or expectations. They will appreciate the opportunity to let their hair down, kick their shoes off, and let out their inner child.
Enneagram Two: Helper
Two’s like to feel important and appreciated, so pamper them and make them feel cared for! This involves knowing the ways in which they like to be taken care of. This is going to vary by person! Cooking a meal, taking them out for an amazing date, putting together a spa day, these are all different ways to pamper someone. Communication is also important to them so make time for honest conversations that are supportive and encouraging.
Enneagram Three: Achiever
Type 3’s like to be recognized for their accomplishments so make sure to provide positive feedback! It is helpful to create an environment where they will not feel tempted to perform so consider a night-in where you cook for them and watch a movie. Planning something like this for them will let them relax. Not only that but it will give them the chance to feel taken care of.
Enneagram 4: Individualist
Type 4’s benefit from a partner who is light-hearted to offset their melancholy. Sometimes they can be a little too serious and it can be helpful to know how to bring them some fun and joy. Take them somewhere they can appreciate beauty, like an art exhibition or antique shop.
Enneagram 5: Investigator
Five’s need time and space to process emotion without pressure. The right partner will trust they will come around when they are ready. Intimate dates with opportunities to engage their intelligence are their preference. They want to be able to share that part of themselves with someone who can keep up.
Enneagram 6: Loyalist
Type 6’s commit fully to relationships. This means having a partner that trusts that is desired. The perfect partner will make sure to plan the dates with their Type 6 and avoid surprises. By providing a roadmap, Loyalists will feel safe to relax and enjoy themselves.
Enneagram Seven: Enthusiast
Type 7’s need a partner that can keep up with them and respects their independence. Dates that cater to their sense of adventure and fun with focus on the shared experience are their favorite. Think of things like amusement parks, adventurous hikes, or escape rooms.
Enneagram Eight: Challenger
Eight’s benefit from partners that encourage their tender, vulnerable side while remaining patient and understanding of their intensity. Quality time without distractions is what they prefer. This means put the phone away when spending time with them!
Enneagram Nine: Peacemaker
Type 9’s seek partners who understand their innate ability to acknowledge all sides of an issue. This is something which can often result in others perceiving them as indecisive or lacking initiative. The right partner will see this ability for what it is instead. Keep it cozy and low key.
Consider Us
The consultants at Compassionate Consulting Company are licensed independent clinical social workers located in Massachusetts who have been running successful counseling practices for years. Julia uses the Enneagram in her work with therapy clients, consulting clients, and also provides trainings to teams to improve communication and connection. If you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram or having Julia provide a training to your team, complete this form.